At 8 weeks I had still not really experienced any morning sickness or other symptoms usually associated with early pregnancy, surely it's going to hit me soon. The following day at work I felt a little ill throughout the day. I had a slight pain in my side and thought that the pregnancy symptoms were beginning to take hold. On my drive home the pain in my side suddenly got worse, so much so that I started screaming out in pain - I got a preview of what I might sound like in labour, it is not a pretty noise! About a mile from home I realised I was going to be sick and had to pull over at the side of the road to throw up. I managed to haul myself back into the car and get home. I ran upstairs where I carried on vomiting, groaning and writhing around with the severe abdominal pains I was experiencing. Whatever was happening was not normal. DH phoned the NHS direct line where they managed to get us a doctors appointment at Cheltenham hospital almost straight away. I could barely talk or walk at this point. In the surgery I continued groaning in pain trying to find the least uncomfortable position, which included going on all fours, curled in a foetal position on the bed and hunched over the chair. Without any warning I vomited all over the floor and it just kept coming. The doctor was clearly concerned. She got on the phone to the gynaecology team at Gloucester Royal Hospital and arranged for me to be admitted there. Unfortunately this meant I would have to endure a 15 minute journey to Gloucester and I had still not been given any pain relief, I just wanted to be put to sleep. I have never been in so much discomfort in my life.
The simple journey to Gloucester became a proper ordeal. We had been instructed to go to A&E (which neither of us had ever been to, so we weren't entirely sure where it was). DH dutifully followed the signs, which just stopped as we got close to the hospital. We ended up at a level crossing for 20 minutes waiting for some unbearably slow trains to trundle past. By this point I was curled up on the back seat. DH was convinced we were in the wrong place, so made the right decision to turn around and eventually we found A&E (when DH checked the next day it turned out the main sign to A&E had been bent and was pointing in the wrong direction!). Luckily we found a wheelchair, as I was now incapable of moving. DH wheeled me in and within 5 minutes we were being tended to by a team of nurses and doctors. The next part is all a bit of a blur, but I know that quite early on an internal examination was done and we were told that I was not having a miscarriage. Somehow I felt intuitively that the baby was OK and hadn't really got too scared about that. I was put on a drip and was pumped full of morphine and anti-sickness drugs, this is where my memory blurs as I became very drowsy and I was able to slip in and out of consciousness. I was vagueley aware of being wheeled to a ward where DH then had to leave and make his way home.
I awoke in the morning feeling much better. The pain was far milder and not constant as it had been. I was very pleased to see the two gynaecologists (Mrs Reddy and Dr Borase) who had done my laparoscopy last year and both worked with the Cotswold Fertility Unit (one was the lead consultant there). They thought that the cyst (that had been spotted in my 6 week scan) was causing problems, potentially twisting my ovary and informed me that an ultrasound scan would reveal what was going on. Later that afternoon I got to see my little bean again, it now measured 19mm and again the heart beat was clear to see. The cyst had grown to 8cm. The sonographer wrote a report that the consultants discussed with me back on the ward. They weren't concerned, although the cyst was big, the blood flow to my ovary was fine and clearly my pain had subsided. They decided to keep me in another night and let me home in the morning.
8 weeks and 2 days
That night however I experienced a lot of side pain again. The next morning a different consultant spoke to me and concluded that the ovary was twisting and untwisting which was why I was getting the pain on and off. "We can operate, but it is up to you. With any surgery at this stage in a pregnancy there will be a risk to the baby. However we cannot quantify this and if you did miscarry we would never know if it was due to the surgery or whether it was going to happen anyway. The operation would not go near the gestational sac, so the risk should be minimal, we just cannot give any guarantees". I hated the pressure of having to make this decision. Eventually I said I would go for it, I knew I couldn't cope with the ongoing pain. The consultant explained that being as it was not a scheduled operation it would be done as an emergency op, however, clearly if there were life threatening emergencies that came in they would take priority. Which is exactly what happened. The decision was taken away from me. Later that evening I was told that they would not be able to fit me in that night so I would be rescheduled for the morning. If it turned out I didn't get pain during the night I would not have to have the operation. I was adamant that I would have a good night. I fought the pain and in my stubborn efforts I barely got any pain during the night. The next morning the consultants were happy to let me home with a small package of painkillers. They were content that the cyst and ovary had righted themselves and weren't causing problems any more.
I was signed off work for the week and by Friday I was feeling normal again. I happily went on a long dog walk on Saturday and had got my appetite back. I was back to work as normal on Monday feeling right as rain! I had a follow up appointment which involved another scan. What a treat, this time at 9 weeks 5 days little bean was starting to look like a baby. The cyst was still as big, but the consultant gynaecologist was happy that it was causing no issues. It will eventually go away on its own she told me. It was all over.
9 weeks and 5 days
The black circle to the left is the edge of the cyst
Except it wasn't all over. After only 2 days back at work the symptoms returned. At 11.30 on Tuesday night I started experiencing the pain in my right-hand side. I was determined that it was not serious. May be I'm just constipated I said to DH. He rallied around me getting me water and laxatives and rubbing my back, but it was clear that he was preparing for a trip to hospital. I on the other hand was resolute that the pain would go if only I could find the right position. The vomiting started at about 12.30am and didn't stop. My stomach was empty and I just kept on retching. At 2am I gave in. DH phoned the direct number to the gynaecology ward, they told us to go straight to A&E. We followed a similar process to the first admission. A drip, lots of morphine, but this time was worse. Despite the amount of morphine being pumped into me the pain was still there and I was wide awake. The ward was full, so I had to stay in A&E. At 5am I told DH to go home, there was nothing more he could do. I continued to throw up bile, groan and writhe around. The nurses were sympathetic, I had maxed out on all the drugs and they couldn't give me anything else.
Mid-morning a bed was freed up and I was taken up to the now familiar gynaecology ward. I was left to rest for a while before the consultant that I'd seen on Monday came and spoke to me. Already the pain was subsiding and I was feeling better. She didn't think it was necessary for another scanned being as I had only had one 2 days previously. She came up with the same conclusion, it must be twisting and untwisting. I was told by a number of consultants that they really didn't want to operate until I was at least 12 weeks due to the risk. Hopefully if I did get pain again I would be able to cope with it until I'd reached the 12 week milestone. Again they decided to keep me overnight and planned to send me home the following day. I slept well that night and woke up feeling very little pain. Although a slightly new and different pain had begun. When the 2 consultants came for a mid-morning chat I explained that I was feeling a completely different type of pain that was sharper and hurt at the point where my belly was prodded. Whereas before it didn't matter where I was prodded the pain was always felt in the same spot. I asked if it was perhaps just muscular pain from all the vomiting I had done the previous day. They were honest and said they weren't sure.
As the day progressed the pain in my belly became more and more severe. Mid-afternoon a senior consultant came for a prod. It hurt so much that I cried (and I pride myself on not being a wuss!). It was obvious something new had happened and the doctors were concerned. They explained that it was more likely that I was suffering from an ovarian torsion and that surgery was likely. I was anxious and started crying at the prospect of an operation. I was taken almost immediately for a scan. The same sonographer that had seen me 2 weeks previously was scanning me again. She focused in on little bean first, every time I see it my heart flutters and I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. She then looked at the cyst. "This is very different to what it was 2 weeks ago, there has been a lot of bleeding". She probed around trying to find evidence of any blood supply to my right ovary, there was none. She also found a lot of blood had leaked around around the ovary. The report was printed and I was wheeled back up to the ward. The consultants were at my bedside within 10 minutes. We don't have any other option now but to operate tonight they explained: It looks like the cyst has caused the right ovary to twist which has cut off the blood supply. If we leave it it will make you very ill, could get infected and will cause a greater risk to your baby then if we operate. You are the main priority they explained, and obviously your baby is the second priority. Hopefully it will just be the cyst we remove, but if the ovary is dead we will have to remove that too. I understood everything they told me. As they walked away I allowed myself to become vulnerable and cried. When DH arrived for visiting hours I cried as soon as he hugged me. I was scared. I was in agony. He was supportive, practical and logical and gave me confidence in what the doctors were doing.
I was taken down to theatre at 9.30pm, DH had already had to leave as visiting hours had closed. The friendly anaesthetists talked me through what they were doing as I stared at the painting on the ceiling, the next thing I knew I was lying in the recovery room. A nurse sat by my side as I tried to make my eyes work. I felt a searing pain in the lower part of my belly. I was surprised at how sore it was. She gave me as much morphine as I was allowed. I felt like I was choking on something. My uvula had been damaged as they had put the breathing tube down my throat and was swollen to about 3 times the size, making it incredibly uncomfortable. The nurse asked me about my pregnancy, "is it OK I asked?" she didn't know, the surgeons would come to see me in the morning and explain what they had done. She told me to try and get some sleep, but I was wide awake. They took me back to my ward at around midnight, where I then spent most of the night wondering what they had done in the operation and whether my baby was OK. Although I knew the surgeons wouldn't actually know if the baby had been affected, only an ultrasound scan would show this.
The next morning a jolly surgeon came to see me along with Dr Borase, who it had turn out had done my operation. They told me that it was a lot worse than they had been expecting. The cyst had twisted the ovary four times, turning it black. There was no chance of saving the it, but they assured me my left ovary was not affected. The 2 inch incision they had made was nowhere near big enough to get the bulging cyst out so they had to extend it to almost 6 inches, no wonder it was so sore! Every slight movement sent the same searing pain through my abdomen. A trip the toilet was a 15 minute ordeal and I dreaded every time I felt the sensation of needing to go. I have never experienced such dependence where you can't even sit up without assistance. I was booked in for a scan with the ultrasound department to check the progress of my baby, hopefully it would be done within a few hours. Ten minutes later Dr Borase returned. The nurse said I was getting special treatment. Dr Borase had finished his shift, but I think he felt so involved with what was happening with me, that he had taken it upon himself to take me straight down to the maternity ward where he could do the scan himself. I tentatively lay down on the bed and as tenderly as possible he moved the ultrasound scanner over my belly. Because he couldn't press hard we couldn't see the image that clearly. I could make out the black circle which contained little bean inside, but I couldn't see it pulsating as I had before. He turned on the microphone and I heard the most beautiful sound of my baby's heart beating. I burst into tears and he gently squeezed my hand. I'm even crying now as a write this. I was overwhelmed to discover how emotionally attached I already was to this little baby bean.
After spending one more night in hospital the staff, myself and DH decided that I was well enough to go home and recover in the comfort of my own surroundings. I have been signed off work for six weeks, but I am seriously hoping I won't take that long to recover. I had forgotten how comfortable our sofa is and how comforting it is having our dog (our other baby) snuggled on the floor next to me resting his head upon my legs and licking my hand affectionately. It has been a testing few weeks, but I am now looking forward to resting and hopefully enjoying the next stages my pregnancy.
