2 weeks post op

In the two weeks that have passed since my surgery, I have had two highlights; the scans of our little bean. The positive I have gleaned from my experiences over the past month is the fact that I am seeing so many scans of our little bean. Upon returning home from hospital I was incapable of pretty much anything for the first few days. I soon surrendered and accepted that my family were there to do everything for me, which even included my mother-in-law drying me after a shower and putting my socks on! A week after the surgery I was beginning to get cabin fever and was grateful for my hospital appointment at the early pregnancy unit. When I saw the image of little bean this time I didn't care that the receptionist hadn't signed me in properly and we had ended up waiting for over 2 hours. I didn't care that as the sonographer pressed the scanner into my belly I winced with pain, it was all more than worth it. Our little bean had grown proper arms and legs and I was amazed to see how active it was. It was like a little frog kicking it's legs and arms as it pushed against against the sides of my womb. I laughed and cried at the same time. Little bean had grown a lot and was now measuring 4.8cm.

                                                          11 weeks and 1 day
                               (we're not concerned that little bean looks more like an alien in this picture!)

The next few days I was hit with sheer boredom. I had regained all my energy and didn't need rest during the day, although I was still in too much pain to walk for more then about 10 minutes. So I was in a vicious circle. Desperate to do exercise or some form of physical activity, but pretty much restricted to the confines of our home. The dog didn't seem to understand that I wasn't able to take him for walks, at 35kg there was no way I could risk him tugging me on the lead. As I've mentioned before, sport and exercise are a huge part of my life. It has now been four weeks since I've done any exercise and it is killing me. I always thought that I would remain equally active throughout my pregnancy and I know I'm going to get a shock when I return to training and feel how much fitness I have lost. I decided to weigh myself and was expecting to have gained weight due to the lack of activity. I had lost 10 pounds. Now, a lot of people would be quite happy about this, but for me I know that it is pure muscle I have lost, muscle that I have spent months training to gain to improve my strength and endurance. I for one am gutted about this weight loss. Considering the hospital signed me off for up to 6 weeks, I imagine it will be the same amount of time before I can really do anything active. I know I will need to have low expectations and will have to gradually reintroduce exercise into my life. As a result of all this I am now suffering from insomnia, I'm simply not doing enough to get tired. I've made the decision to learn how to meditate, something I have tried on numerous occasions but never succeeded. I have plenty of time to work on it though.

Today I had my 12 week scan, little bean was measuring 5.8cm. Finally I can breathe a sigh of relief at reaching this stage. I am so excited about sharing our news with all our friends now. It no longer needs to be a secret. We are having a baby! Wow, what an incredibly exciting, life-changing, life affirming and somewhat terrifying prospect!

                                                        12 weeks and 1 day