Upon returning to work after the six week summer holidays I was feeling amazing. I loved answering everyone's questions of how was I doing with a 'Yeah, I feel great, I love being pregnant!' Within a week of the term starting I began experiencing an uncomfortable rib pain. Initially I only felt the pain whilst I was in a normal sitting position, which was usually at my desk or driving. Thankfully as a PE teacher being on my feet and moving around seemed to prevent the pain. When I mentioned this to my midwife at my 28 week appointment she was not concerned. It's nothing to worry about she told me, just your uterus expanding and causing tenderness to your ribs. I wasn't worried though, I was in pain, but at that point only around 2-4 hours per day. A few days later as I was reaching for a drink, I felt a twang and it was like I was being stabbed in the chest. I froze for about 10 seconds and the pain eased off. Since then the pain I've been experiencing is almost unbearable. Every day I can feel a definite movement in my ribs, which causes a sharp shooting pain to radiate along the line of the rib around to my back. I would describe it as a white hot pain. Most days I am in pain for about 8-10 hours and it is quite simply horrible. Thankfully at weekends when I can avoid sitting (I lie or sit very reclined on the sofa instead) and driving I don't get much pain at all. I was convinced that this was no longer just a typical pregnancy symptom and must be an injury, I actually thought that I had dislocated a rib.
As a result of all this, last week I had my first wobble of pregnancy. Everyone I mentioned the rib pain to just dismissed it, so I tried to do the same. But I came to a point last week where it just got too much for me. The thoughts and feelings I had been trying to dismiss and ignore came gushing out to DH with a flood of tears too. I have desperately wanted to enjoy every stage of my pregnancy and I realised that I wasn't. I felt like my body was letting me down. I felt like I was failing. I'm not one to moan, in fact I fundamentally disagree with moaning, it achieves nothing. I didn't and don't want sympathy from anyone (I'm the worst person at giving sympathy so I shouldn't expect it from others!), I just want someone to tell me how to fix this problem. Realising that I was not happily enjoying my pregnancy, I became upset with myself. The pain was beginning to affect me mentally now, something which I am not used to. As I've mentioned before I don't tend to get stressed and usually just take things in my stride. I didn't want to have any negative feelings towards my pregnancy, something needed to change. I guess I'm also worried that if I'm finding this stage hard I'm going to find everything hard, I'm not going to breeze through motherhood like I naively expected. The little bubble that I've been floating along in is slowly beginning to deflate.
My midwife told me to complete a referral for physiotherapy, I was impressed with how quickly I received an appointment. So earlier this week I went along for my session, but was slightly disappointed to find it was a group session with other pregnant women who were experiencing a range of ailments. We were shown a variety of sitting and lying positions and exercises that might help us. I wasn't told anything new though, everything we went through I had already learnt at pregnancy yoga. The principle of the group session was good though; they try to get everyone seen early, then if the advice doesn't work you book in for a 1-1 appointment. The pain has been getting worse every day, so yesterday I decided to book in to see my regular chiropractor (rather than wait for a physio appointment), who is fantastic. She has been treating me for a few years for a variety of sports related injuries. After feeling my ribs she confirmed my suspicions that I have an injury. I am suffering from costochondritis, which is essentially inflammation of the joint and cartilage where the ribs attach to the sternum, potentially torn cartilage too which is the movement I can feel. This is not a pregnancy condition, anyone can get it, although for me it has clearly been caused by pregnancy.
Confirmation that I have an injury as opposed to just another pregnancy symptom is making it easier for me to deal with. I can now see the pain as being separate to the pregnancy, which has alleviated the negative feelings I've been having. I'm still in just as much pain and I may just have to put up with that until little bean is born, but I now feel that I can do that without beating myself up. I love my bump and I love the way I look. Little bean is getting more and more active and I cherish that connection I feel when he moves. Despite my wobble, my mindset has not changed, I know I will remain positive throughout the rest of my pregnancy.
